Author: oldfart
~ 10/07/08
I think I need to start a screening process for being my neighbor, because in the last couple years some real fuckheads have moved to within 2 houses of my location in Olathe.It can’t be the air or water. I breath it and drink it, and I haven’t killed anyone (yet), and I sure as heck don’t think of kids as sex objects.
I guess I need to start going to all the realtors and telling them I want the right to approve all prospective house buyers in the neighborhood. This is getting too weird.
But I’ve got the solution!
To find out if the person is a potential criminal… all I have to do is check to see if they like to wear gray sheets around their shoulders. Seems to be a dead giveaway!
Author: oldfart
Emawkc has a post entitled “That old feeling“. He’s feeling old because his sister is going to be a grandmother, making him a Great Uncle.
Now, I don’t have the faintest clue as to Emaws age (if his post about cocks is any indicator, 15 maybe? haha). But I offer this observation about being “old”.
You can’t be old by association, or kinship, unless you are the eldest. You either ARE old, or you are not.
I call myself the grumbling old fart, but by most age standards I’m not really old. However, I am the oldest of all my siblings, so I get points there. I am also a grandfather, twice. Sure, I’m technically a “step-grandfather”, but it still counts. With those I rack up three “One step towards the grave” cards. Then we factor in the heart attack I had a couple years ago… 5 more “close to being cremains” cards.
So to Emaw I offer this sage advice. Embrace the onslaught of being old. Old people get to say whatever the hell they want, and people don’t care that it sounds a bit over the top at times. Of course when the physical aspects of being old crop up, like you having to wear Depends, its a different story entirely. Then you run away from it, like it’s a Sex in the City movie sequel.
